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Friday, October 3rd, 2008
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9:01 pm
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Summary:
I want to write poetry again.
I am enrolled in 4 science classes. Trying to keep up.
I am Rushing.
I live in an awesome house, which for once is silent.
I am currently seeking lab experience.
I think I may have found someone to love again. After two long years. Though I'm not sure when I'll ever be able to tell him...
current mood:  hopeful
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| Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
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12:16 pm
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Its extremely too difficult to write here. Too many memories and old feelings get stirred up. Its not fair. These emotions should have been dealt with in the past and stayed there. Somehow coming here feels like reopening old wounds. I can't do that again...
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| Friday, June 20th, 2008
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7:29 pm - Life is a Roller Coaster
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My car died in an intersection. Towed. After a day it was "repaired". I stuck my keys in the ignition. Turn. The car didn't start. Drove a brand new Saturn SUV home in place of my car. Shimmering orange. Receive a text. Grandmother in the hospital. Blood clot in the lung. This can't be good. Day full of yelling, ends in bonding.
I hope tomorrow will be better...
current mood:  exhausted
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| Thursday, June 19th, 2008
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11:39 am
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Sometimes you make a pack with someone. Some of them can be deadly. Destroy a life that you worked so hard to build. But still some risks feel worth taking I suppose. However, once you realize you have slid by without any known consequences you gain a feeling of relief. Yet, chances are the cycle with continue. Until the mistake can not be undone.
Alana and I have applied for more jobs than one could imagine healthy. Our self-esteem is seriously on the line. Won't someone hire us already?!?!?! We would be great employees!! I applied to my Eighth job today. The one I would love to get most overall. Even though I know there are people who are better, smarter, I really want this.
Sometimes the people closest to have traits you admire. However, what if one of them holds what you have always wanted? Fight for it?
current mood:  determined
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| Sunday, June 15th, 2008
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10:34 pm
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I find myself sitting in my room. Pretty much alone with my cat and brother. No job. No school. My room is littered with unopened boxes filled with books, clothes and various knick knacks that I've collected from my dorm room. I know I should get off my ass, but it feels nice just to relax, do nothing, lie in the sun. Have no worries. However, come next week everything's going to change?
current mood: happy
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| Thursday, June 12th, 2008
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12:46 pm
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So here Alana and I are packing the last of our belongings...our memories of Freshman year. I said goodbye to apparently the only 3 friends I made worth hugging. Sad days. Its a nice feeling going home though, I will miss the dorm, my 2nd sanctuary.
Besides...unpacking is a bitch
current mood: excited
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| Thursday, June 5th, 2008
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9:56 pm
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I should be eternally grateful that three/four of my best friends came to the University Of Washington with me. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if they hadn't. Next year two of them won't be as close though. With Alana in the apartments and Alisha commuting...I dunno. Will we drift apart? Luckily Cheuk will be just above, but still...A true test of the strength of friendship. I really shouldn't worry right...after all Cheuk and I did fine this year and he was commuting...
Things to do:
Write Major Paper 4
Study Chemistry
Study Sociology
E-Port
Freedom <3
current mood: satisfied
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| Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
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12:14 am
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I need summer to come ASAP. I miss it, besides it puts everyone in a better mood. Somehow things turned sour today, however I will stay optimistic. Its not over until I say its over...
current mood:  worried
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| Monday, June 2nd, 2008
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1:58 pm
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Felker is working at Old Navy again. I reapplied two days ago. Now I am just awaiting their call begging me to come back. ;)
I need money...
Time to rehash my paper...bleh
current mood: amused
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| Sunday, June 1st, 2008
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5:11 pm
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I have done so much homework this weekend it has been insane. I hope I will study some consistently throughout this week because I am ready to kick some finals ass. Then I hope to get a job and enjoy a one week summer break. Then its back into school and the working world. Gross. I hate growing up.
current mood:  bored
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| Saturday, May 31st, 2008
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1:06 pm - In Good Company
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I personally decided not to make the same mistake again because I've been down that path before and honestly it doesn't work. After all, if you're content and happy the way things are, why attempt the unknown? The grass on the other side always looks greener, but is it Really?
Robert and I doubling with Alana and Steven was uber cute. The food was delicious. Roberts driving skills are amazing (besides leaving my lights on), and the bus ride was relatively hilarious. Pretty fun night all over. However exhausted by the end.
Steven dropped a bunch of sheep on Alana's father. Hilarious. So Steven.
Such good company <3
current mood: content
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| Thursday, May 29th, 2008
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12:28 pm
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Always got the guys I want some way other another. Always get the information I want. Always granted the loyalty I need. What can I say? People generally like me.
Last night Lisa and I talked for Hours. Forming a bond between best friend /girlfriend. We both found out things we didn't want to know. We both pieced together the puzzle, where each of us held a few pieces. I'm left confused, disappointed and hurt. Shes left angry and disgusted. I'm left not knowing what to do. She tells me that this should be the last chance I give and not to hold my breath...though thats something I've known all along.
I just have to figure out if its worth the bother to wait. People can change, though not that quickly. You have to let go of the past to let the future have a chance and that seems to be something he might not be willing to do. Chase after the uncatchable will only lead you to the loss of, well possibly the best you could ever get.
I'm going to have a lot of pondering to do this weekend...A lot
Bye the way, a big happy birthday to you Robert...
current mood: discontent
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| Monday, May 26th, 2008
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5:44 pm
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Immediately when I first met Lisa we clicked. She just one of those types of people. She reminds me of my Aunt Cynthia...whom I adore. Its as if my Aunt when she was of college age is here right now...
Lisa has shared some stories, thoughts and mutual concerns. Something I've been worried about the entire time. Something I've noticed. Something I've known. Something I've dealt with before. Dating has always been an endless cycle for me, repeating the same habits, dealing with similar personalities and making the same mistakes over and over. I was really hoping this would be the relationship that would break the cycle.
However, its remarkable how similar his personality is to Casey's. I just don't want the same ending to happen. We both need to learn how to break old habits for this to work otherwise I fear the same thing will happen as did with Casey and I. I don't think I could go through something like that again... Its still painful to see him since I suppose you never forget your first Love.
current mood:  confused
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| Sunday, May 25th, 2008
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12:41 am
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I love the feeling of waking up next to someone holding you...
I finished most of my post-lab. I laid in the sun, writing which felt Amazing. Perhaps I should write some poetry again. Ran into the person I least expected to ever see pull up in front of my dorm. Always recognize his white BMW though. With eyes the color of the sky, Alana still considers him a God. However, apparently a God can't even keep one of his Angel.
I smell like Bon Fire. Look forward to Folklife tomorrow. Hope not to get shot.
current mood: contemplative
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| Friday, May 23rd, 2008
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2:54 pm
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Chemistry midterm successful after a long inspiring pep talk. Looking forward to going downtown today, it feels good to get out and about a bit. Always looking forward to a new adventure.
current mood: excited
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| Thursday, May 22nd, 2008
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9:52 pm
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I've been studying/procrastinating studying for Chemistry. Even though I think I understand when it comes to performing I often fail. I have the ability to perform well at a variety of things...Chemistry not being one of them. So best of luck to me tomorrow. Freedom is going to feel so sweet...
current mood:  energetic
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| Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
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11:11 am
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Its a strange feeling when you have something precious for what seems like forever. It can disappear so quickly, in a matter of minutes even. Though I would like to believe that maybe the loss allows me to mature. Have no regrets, Learn. Change.
current mood: cheerful
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| Monday, May 19th, 2008
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1:44 am
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The Mariners won today, truly a delightful surprise. Got a little sunburned though. But Ichiro looked uber fine. Ate some delicious Chinese food, drank some good bubble tea. Lots of exercise though now my feet have blisters.
For once I actually understand Chemistry without someone tutoring me. Though Robert has developed a horrible cough...like mine and Alana's combined...sick. Poor boi
current mood: chipper
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| Sunday, May 18th, 2008
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12:39 am
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Probably the chillest day I have had this quarter. A lot of alone time, aka Gossip Girl time. So addicting. Watching it though...you see all their intimate, perfect relationships all full of love and happiness. Make you envious. However, they always break up in the end...
On another note sun was out today. Jamba Juice tastes so sweet. And so does dancing around in a dress while no one is around to watching.
You know you love me, xoxo
current mood: happy
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| Thursday, March 15th, 2007
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10:20 pm - It's a monthly thing...
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Its been another month, and still I find myself coming back here. Sometimes the dreams of being with you are overwhelming, even after I have woken up. Something caught my attention the other day. Your reaction at Crossroads. I saw what you ordered, what you always do, and it seems like you saw what I ordered too...what I always do. I saw a flash of memories in your eyes, am I correct?
I miss you. I want to help you, in any way I can. Please come find me.
current mood:  distressed
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